Before and After Time

THe 2010 has ended without me seeing the firecrackers of new.
I could only heard the explosion that akin to blow me to pieces in the ailing bed.
Exploding my heart or my all, I wasn't sure as the days wore on.

Without the sunray and the lying on the sickbed was the most terrifying close of 2010 for me.
I don't expect such fall after celebrating purple Christmas.
Enduring the discomfort in the falling rain leaving me no choice but to endure as much as I could.

The next moments were painted dark in unprecedented chill and attacking pain that chained me to the bed.

I saw black and had it not be the quick distance to my bed, I couldn't imagine what could happen next.

It was in such times that I learned the importance of kinship.
My beloved family travelled all the way for me to take me in.
I am moved . I do not expect the visit. Had it not been for my beloved family, how would I sustain?
Thank God for family. Thank God for their love and care for me. It is soothing and comforting.

I realize it is eating up me. It is harder to recover in speed unlike in the past.
A month plus and the taste has not sink in. It is still heavy as I tried back my walk regime which has been abandoned about a month. I know it is coming and I am not as tough to fight as before.
Nevertheless, what I could do is live the best I could.

I never want to fall into such darkness again. It is terrifying. Sending shivers. Sending scenes of a bunch of strangers at my place but I couldn't get up to close them.  I was about to seek a medium, if that could help. In such desperate times, man would probably try all means , including the unfamiliar and untested.

And although if seems that without fail, this man would text at such times, it will never be the same again.
I am not going to turn back time and with the remaining power, I shut it down.