When you are doing a sociology research, it is hard to move from the American context.
I was reading a excerpt of "Made in America", by sociology professor Claude S.Fischer.
There was this portion that caught my attention- Alone or lonely?
It studied the trend of the solo living , an increasingly popular choice or a non-choice among the Americans.
On a note, it reminds me how easily assumption, generalization and stereotyping has insidiously creeping in our life. We easily assume alone means lonely. Similarly, lonely means one is alone.
Does both share the same state? No, if you are buying the uncommon assumption, generalization and stereotypes.
When you are alone, you can spend time doing what you want and can do. Something you enjoy that comes from your heart and soul. Without the unnecessary intervention. Just you, the wall, the music, the inanimate. It could be building the model ship, strumming the guitar, cycling in the park, composing a song or baking a cake, the enjoyment is unspeakable. You would not feel being lonely although there is not a single soul around you. Coz you are deeply enjoy with what you do. Coz' it is not imposed on you. Freely and naturally born from your heart. Your soul. It is true that when are true to yourself, you find the inexplicable freedom.
No loneliness is written in those moments.
Right, that is if you can do what you enjoy when you are on your own. What if you couldn't find what you enjoy to do in those alone moments? Now, that is the task to discover and to explore the possible enjoyment. In those solo moments, 'me' time. That's the best time to act. No one to tell but you , being true to yourself and not buiding upon others expectation.
I was travelling one day, although not accurately alone as there were other passengers. Some were like me, unaccompanied. But we were in the same journey, heading towards our selected destination.
We saw green tress lining up the road, the blue mountain below the clouds and the blue lake before our eyes. We listened to our favourite tunes in our journey. And it was only in those alone moments where we could savour the above to the best. Without interruption. Without distraction to rob our enjoyment and attention.
While sometimes when you found yourself in a bunch of people, there too you found loneliness .
Laughter and stories exhanged on the table. Yet, you could feel alone although you are in the crowd.
You do not enjoy the moment. Sometimes, for unknown reasons.
I was going for a sponsored meal on one Thursday. On a strict interpretation, I was not alone with the presence of a number of people who were sitting together with me. Somehow, I did not enjoy the moment. I couldn't. Wrapped in loneliness amidst a hearty meal. The jokes made by one young man didn't work on me.
Having shared all of these, without doubt everyone would have different interpretations. Different version of views. It is a good thing that we have the freedom to think, if not the freedom to speak.
Some happily choose to live alone and sadly, some are forced to live alone especially the elderly.
Although alone moments are great, there could be the best times of 'two is better than one '.
And bearing in mind, there are things that we couldn't do on our own. We need the inclusion of others in our life. One of the reason.
Steaming the fishball, the veggies and meat in the boling water with my heart - stealer was an enjoyable moment for me.
The same enjoyment was exhibited when I had a house pouring red-wine in a cosy bar with my new drinking mate.
Enjoying Thai cuisine with my beloved family on one Saturday night was fabulous.
Yea, we could enjoy both the alone or more moments when it is in sync with our heart and soul.
All I know, alone doesn't mean lonely. Both are unequally yoked.
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