The Road Home

Hilda has been looking for a home for years. A home which shall become her dwelling.
A home where she belongs and no one could encroach. A home where she belongs without end.
Today, she assures herself that it will never be found here because this is not where she is meant to be.

The disorder returns and she hopes this is the last episode.
The pain and discomfort which were familiar are here again.
Today, she realises all the more that life is not an answer but a question from the beginning.

She lets herself  to write more now as time permits.
She wants to be happy because it is bringing her closer to home.
Today, she braces herself and walks among the crowd despite the silent pain.

'Why me' is an automatic response when it attacked her in silence.
The groans, moans and whispers of prayer.
Today, she learns the ability to eat and sleep is a blessing indeed.

A new year came after the old has gone.
She wonders why do we celebrate when a new day is just another recycled day to be.
Today, she weeps not because suffering could end soon when the above opens the door of her home.

Hasten me home to lessen my suffering, she said.
She longs to walk the path which leads her home.
Today, she visits those who had found their home.

Do we borrow time or we are made to borrow?
She still couldn't find the meaning of being a soul.
Today, she finds the enchanting sea could be evil too.

Sooner or later we have to go.
Someone else will arrive to replace the departure.
Today is just like another ordinary today, except the day she gets to home.


Nocturne - Daylight Rain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=SG&v=_hyAOYMUVDs

Hellos and Goodbye

Bit by bit I get back to those whom I met some years ago.
Perhaps it's because we are coming at the end, closer than before.
We see how much we have changed and what we have not.
We realise how time not only flies but how it has shaped us as well.


A few days ago, a brother in the church I used to go was ushered up to above.
I whispered a silent prayer, throwing a gaze through the glass window and thinking about him.
His sudden exit is a reminder again.


Three questions came to my mind as fast as the lightning. Questions about my exit from this world.

1) How will I leave? (Most important of all)
2) When and where is the final place?
3) Who is the last person I will see before I leave?

At the end of the journey, everything seems to be meaningless.
We could not take we have. We do not belong here but we live as though it's our permanent abode.

We all have the common goal in this world - seeking happiness and it comes in the form of material and non-material.
We do not choose to arrive here just as we can't choose when we want to leave, even jumping from the 99th storey may not be successful if that is not meant to be.

So, what do we do with life?
Perhaps, one of the best thing that happen here is not buying the huge mansion on tophill.
Perhaps it's not being a well-known personality, getting our dreams materialised, driving the fancy car down the Great Ocean Road or the first millions we made.

How I do want to live if I know tomorrow is my last?

This is the song I could not resist to replay. It carries me to the past, present and  maybe the future.


Someplace Good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=SG&v=POSo-nEZ1vY

May' Lovers to a Secret July

We are coming closer to our second year annivesary, and yes to close it.
We have celebrated the joys and downs in our life's journey and it ended quite well, amicably.
Now matter where we will be in the past and next zones, perhaps it is only right, to meet for the last in July.

You will be the secret I'll keep like the buried ocean liner.
You will be the secret I'll share with my child.
And, sometimes secret will taste pure and purer as time goes when you cover it with sands by the seaside, watching the sea water to wash and carry it away.

These renditions which I find so apt to describe the gamut from joy to grief which we've shared throughout those moments.

-Excerpt from "Letters of Carmen July"
Dedicating for a July Remembrance:

Under the Moonlight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBizQ-zZoZw&feature=relmfu

What Will I Do:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UuL6mhQoJA

Hear Me Cry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5mLOMKJYpo

Close to You:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7UVoHpwY90&feature=related

Close to You: (Piano version)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl3uZHmUpT4&feature=related

Silent Emotion: (Piano Version)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlpiVaxuqUs

Silent Emotion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP6EDaV-jd0&feature=relmfu

Pathétique

Three days over and  this has come as marked in the diary.

I packed my work and made my quick steps, grabbing a quick meal and headed to the theatre hall.

With high hopes and a dizzy state,  I sincerely hope I would not end up in disappointment and that my restlessness will melt, at least , within the 2 hours.

I am glad and pleased to make it.
After coming back to this place for some time,  it has changed to somewhat a better landscape.

Changes. While I resist changes at some point for some reasons, I know well now that familiarity has takes a lot of   back seats. Let's just hope that the changes are for the benefit of many, to make this world a lesser doom.

Somehow, my wish , still remain unchanged.

In the darkness within the 2 hours, my soul was delighted and carried away by Beethoven's piece.

No disturbance. Only the Adagio movement, solitude, the perfomer and us.

It described the multiple mood and the delicate sense, running in between hopes and fears.

It also escorted me to time in Japan, coming towards the end.

I still recall those moments at the end of dusk, a soft light which, perhaps only could prevail back then.

It is probably a dimmer hope to return and find such radiance in the march of time.

Still then, I have to fill the remaining days with the sun of righteousness, innocence of morning light and a light, mystic silent night.

Enjoy:

Beethoven Sonata No. 8 'Pathetique' Mov. 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly1iTD0zB1Y&feature=related

Happier than a bride

A woman's biggest and happiest day most would think is none other than the day when she is dressed in white raiment, walking down the aisle for the one.

However, my biggest and biggest day is more than a wedding for me.=)
And somehow it tastes sweeter than honey and deeper like the long kept wine.=)


Right now, I am on euphoria. Simple, sweet and sound.

Thanks to all who have been reading and following my blogs.
Thanks Jeff for being my avid and supportive reader.
And hope you 'll be the best critic too.
Thanks to Keith for the people and moments and, decorating my life.
Thanks to Smiley for being there to listen. What  precious ears you gave. Much appreciated.

Sorry must I say if the contents have been rather cynical, pessimistic, singular and anything but brilliant.
May I knit lovely words, thoughts and sharings to enrich each other life.

Cheers,
Coral Gal

This is one of the 'euphoria' song:

Artist: The folk duo from Swell Season
Title: Fallen from the Sky
Year: 2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rl6e2HhcgU

Beauty has a game

Too Gorgeous
He was, (ok, he is ) one of the most stunning, good looking man I came across thus far.

Banking on his birth assets due to mixed parentage , it was an easy game and he landed  a TV presenter job in short months time after leaving London. Thereafter, stints are coming easily which I must say the credit belongs to his :    

1)look      2)popularity      3 )lastly, learning skills and diligence

Beauty obviously have an edge over plenty, plenty aspects in life.

It turns people on. The sex appeal, especially for Adam species.

It landed contracts, contacts, assets, negotiating and bargaining power and etc, whatever material desire achievable in this human world.

In some cases, beauty comes after wealth and health, and relationship.

These kind of beauty is more prevalent these days than the former kind (the gorgeous born).

Is beauty a talent?

A stand up comedian who was a former actor (trying to be humble though) , tossed this question to a former beauty queen who attended an audition of a talent quest programme.

She gave a long pause, perhaps analysing whether her stunning looks is equivalent to 'talent' or either she was thinking how could a stunning woman like her, stunned at such a question.;)

Being human, no one would turn down beauty. As time progresses, beauty or rather the form of beauty has undergone its revolution, more than an evolution.

Beauty now is ascribed to stick-on eyelashes, rhinoplasty (nose job), augmentation, double eyelids and rejuvenation, which is why beauty industry is such a booming business.

 It made it that everyone can afford to be beautiful if they are willing to pay the price.

Beautiful according to the world, not so much according to oneself.

Being and becoming beautiful

Nevertheless, some form of beauty couldn't be altered.

It is not by birth, yet it's natural.

It could be nurtured, developed and formed gracefully yet strong. 

Sadly, many are not going for such a beauty.

I found this beauty in an uprising woman in her musical journey.

It's not because she wins an Oscar (something to be proud of -  she wins the award at the age of  19).

It's not because she has celebrated fame and name.

Down to earth, no pompous act, as herself- that's it.

Unlike the self-made or self-induced sensation and ostenatious acts among the artists. (and some do not deserved to be named as one)

Her soft voice wows and so does, her song compositions.

Another beautiful beauty is evident in the newly married recording artist now known as Mrs Fink.=)

Another award winner songstress and best selling author who is not a junk beauty.

Standing firm in her principles, her unwavering faith in Him and her patience (especially) and passion made her so lovely.

Beauty vs love

I find that we can find beauty in love, never love in beauty.

And in everything, there is a price to pay.

The only issue - are we paying a worthwhile game?

When we were here

Clouds hanging in the air so mighty and strong

But sometimes it's the raindrops I was waiting for long

Coz it reminds me when I first met you amid the throng

Sometimes it's easy for me to say and stay

Living without you when it doesn't make my day

Leaving without you and there's less to play

Time is telling and slowly our hearts to slay

The world still continue to spin till today

With untold mysteries still unravel

Things of fear and love a marvel

Our love is rough and tough

The ride made us cry and laugh

Whether in want or full of dough

Through the seasons in different borough

Maybe I was too wrong

Leaving and never look into your song

History is made and it ain't going

Still I hope to see you someday in the throng

In paradise shall we sing our song

**A tribute to N**

© CDL 2012

In the 90s', another favourite year in my life.

Moving pieces from James Newton Howard:

The Clock:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWHXQ9Fxkb8&feature=related

When it doesn't

The sun is shining on a different note today. The warmth is somehow nostaglic and strong.
Unlike the 5 hours journey in a wandering July.

It has been a week since his demise. Coincidental or what to call it - he passed on , on my life's anniversary.
A sudden heart attack pushing him to fight his life with the many tubes and breather.
Unthinkable.
Nevertheless, he no longer has to battle within those tumultous moments.
I wonder where he went to.
I could only know when it's my turn to be bury underneath. Or , perhaps I wouldn't know. That the sense of knowledge and awareness may not exist any longer with the entrance of an exit. After all, we are finite beings who store lots of inquiries and curiosities but answers and confirmation are beyond us.

We have no control over our birth and death in this world.
Who is our biological parents? Which family we are born into?
How and when we will leave?
Not even in committing suicide. If the time is not up, the attempt is doomed to fail.

The following days:


Nevertheless, tonight, some strangers brought a note of hope in life.
Susan and Sung Bong Choi are among the individuals who tell the world that we can fight against the odds.
Only if we still believe in hope.
Despite the smirks, despite the crowd, despite our feelings.
Thank you.


I like this song so well although I ain't feeling well.


I Know Him So Well
A brilliant combo- insightful lyrics and prodigious melody

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaLV2rLs_7E&feature=related

Dear Valentine

February is credited as the month of lovey-dovey with Valentine's Day.

I shunned love during my school days. Knew less and it did not be a source of concern.

It develops, however, as I entered the varsity where I've meet no less cool, nice, gentlemen.

There, in and between, trying to figure out the place of love in my heart.

As I turned the past to present, I still couldn't say whether I know what 'love' really means.

Should it comes easy, love as it is, without reasons and logics. Love being love and nothing else. No knotty, cords and entanglement.

Love is when a Vietnamese man sighted a North Korean woman through a laboratory's door, back in 1971. That the woman would become his wife. Period.  Through obstacles, long-waiting and love letters, they finally walked down the aisle in their aging years. It is amazing that his feelings towards her remain throughout those longing years. Although she is advancing with wrinkles and lesser youth sparkle. Although they were not able to share dating moments, a walk hand in hand under the starry night or embracing each other, being separated of political borders as North Korea adopted a non-contact policy.

Their wedding in 2002 was more than a joy with that happy ending. It sends me in wonder , if  love could be as easy as that - in identifying the person who captured your heart, so fully assured without hesitation, without the taint of vagueness and uncertainty. That undeniably saves time and heartache when you make the right choice, at the right place and the timing too.

I witnessed another simple love exhibited in the  popular China matchmaking  reality show - 'If you are the one' which recorded high ratings among the Chinese viewers worldwide. 24 gals made a choice to turn on/off their lights for the male who came to the show with the hope to whisk her off to be his mate. In one of the episodes, one of the gal was obviously charmed by the male who came. Her feelings and excitement for him were fearlessly exposed. Good for her that he did  finally choose her in the selection process among three other gals. What struck me was the gal's interpretation on love. She didn't know why but she knew he was the one when he walked out. She confessed she never date, being 22, and all that matters most was that she likes him tremendously. It's no explanation, fuss and all. That's love and romance. As simple as that. Although age and their origin and background seems to be a mismatch. He- endurance and perseverance earned him success (in the eyes of the world).  She - an easier life.

A director once told me that he found his love simply when he was crossing the traffic light. He saw a lady who was crossing at the same time and his heart told him 'she's the one'. Ouf of no where and it was just convincing. Just like that, at that time and that place. Unexpectedly. And, yes, that's how it went and they got married.

'Love at first sight', the conventional term to describe the above.

I am not a believer but now, begin to wonder. That it truly exists and proven true, at least in some cases.

We have the applicable story of the old and young above.

Well, love doesn't happen in that simple manner for me.

I met him, know about him and more about him.
Then, we feel for each other and went out through places.

Yet, through all these spaces and number of years, I know I couldn't proclaim "he's the one."

That's what I'm assured.

This is a song that seems to embrace that 'simple love' closely.  Made in the 80s , from the Jets, a band made of siblings from Minneapolis, with vocal by sweet Elizabeth Wolfgramm. She recorded this song being an teenager then. Marvellous!

The 80's are made of less junk and thrash singing.

Song:You've Got it All

Album: The Jets

Year:1986

Artist: The Jets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PnondsIxY8&gl=SG

What do we know?

Two months have about to accomplish in 2012. Days and nights are carried out swiftly and leaving me to give birth to multiple thoughts and feelings. After all, we are made up with these combination besides water being the high substance in us.

Although there are still endless to learn, I learned that I know more than before.  Knowing what , perhaps I rather not know.

I mentioned before that knowing is painful.

Yea, at times I wonder if know less, it could make my life a little easier , that I will march forward instead to entertain the 'knows'.

Like everyone else, I am looking forward to  rise in this recent new year. However, I fail to find the meaning to rise from my bed for the day and  I find myself to enter late to bed during the night, although fatigue reigns.

I believe each of us would have ask this all familiar question - Why are we here?

Life is surely not about waking up, meals, sending children to school, finding money to earn a living, dating, spending, watching and dying.

I am pining and longing for my past years.

When life is simple, innocent and pure

When there is no IPad, IPhone, internet,etc.

When the water and garden are still inviting

When quality is insisted rather quantity

When music and arts are dignified and posessing value

When birds are chirping in the air instead of honking and flames

When life is something I can call life.

I would trade my life right to get them back, if that is possible.

I know that we have to lose to gain and gain to lose.

I have just turned down a job opening based in a place where I wanted.

Ironic? Foolish?

I realise that happiness is far more important. The state of my heart is what I have to take care.

I realise that what I wanted in the past is slowly passing like the flying breeze.

The former could still be the better part.

And now, in months to come, where I will base, remains unknown.

I do not know if it would be a better place, although it is easy to love the lush, coast, leaves and breeze.

How would I settle in, what food I could cook and who will come to my aid?

Of all, a new environment to start all over again.

Or would things gonna be about the same.

This song has been ringing in my ears today for umpteenth times, never leaving me stale.

The beginning tempo carries the rhythm to start,

the middle hits the multiple cries and release of the heart,

the end is echoing a mystery, uncharted and bringing you to the waters you still have not sorted out.

(How I wish if could hear this by the lake behind my former lane of 20 + yrs)

Song:不要說話 / Bu Yao Shuo Hua/ Don't Speak

Artist:陳奕迅, Eason

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzb33Ku8k_w&feature=autoplay&list=PLF8681BC061F68FD6&lf=results_main&playnext=2