Remembering

I thought of him yesterday.
I offered prayers to above to lessen his suffering and pain.
Yet, I am also cruel to him.
The last I met him was the celebration of  his 100 years of life.
He is the strongest I've met thus far and when I learned that his strength is declining, I knew it wasn't easy.

Today, he breathed his last and I wasn't by his side.
The sky was clear. The feelings were somewhat not the same.
I 'm not there in person but my mind is actively reminding me.
Thinking of his life journey, how far he had come.
My thin perseverance and worst, the lack of productivity.
Fate, casting blame to fate again, really?


Looks like I should not  play JB anymore. JB seems to be an impending exit.


It is a regret that I couldn't showcase any great milestones for him.
His last wish was not materialised and the sense of regret is palpable.

I'm truly sorry, AG.
The thoughts I had, the disrespect I displayed, the harsh words uttered.
The impossible reconciliation between your Chan (which I loathe till today), your kin and I.
I'm deeply sorry, AG.
May you rest in peace.