Saturday, February 18, 2012

Dear Valentine

February is credited as the month of lovey-dovey with Valentine's Day.
I shunned love during my school days. Knew less and it did not be a source of concern.

It develops, however, as I entered the varsity where I've meet no less cool, nice, gentlemen.
There, in and between, trying to figure out the place of love in my heart.

As I turned the past to present, I still couldn't say whether I know what 'love' really means.
Should it comes easy, love as it is, without reasons and logics. Love being love and nothing else. No knotty, cords and entanglement.

Love is when a Vietnamese man sighted a North Korean woman through a laboratory's door, back in 1971. That the woman would become his wife. Period.  Through obstacles, long-waiting and love letters, they finally walked down the aisle in their aging years. It is amazing that his feelings towards her remain throughout those longing years. Although she is advancing with wrinkles and lesser youth sparkle. Although they were not able to share dating moments, a walk hand in hand under the starry night or embracing each other, being separated of political borders as North Korea adopted a non-contact policy.

Their wedding in 2002 was more than a joy with that happy ending. It sends me in wonder , if  love could be as easy as that - in identifying the person who captured your heart, so fully assured without hesitation, without the taint of vagueness and uncertainty. That undeniably saves time and heartache when you make the right choice, at the right place and the timing too.

I witnessed another simple love exhibited in the  popular China matchmaking  reality show - 'If you are the one' which recorded high ratings among the Chinese viewers worldwide. 24 gals made a choice to turn on/off their lights for the male who came to the show with the hope to whisk her off to be his mate. In one of the episodes, one of the gal was obviously charmed by the male who came. Her feelings and excitement for him were fearlessly exposed. Good for her that he did  finally choose her in the selection process among three other gals. What struck me was the gal's interpretation on love. She didn't know why but she knew he was the one when he walked out. She confessed she never date, being 22, and all that matters most was that she likes him tremendously. It's no explanation, fuss and all. That's love and romance. As simple as that. Although age and their origin and background seems to be a mismatch. He- endurance and perseverance earned him success (in the eyes of the world).  She - an easier life.

A director once told me that he found his love simply when he was crossing the traffic light. He saw a lady who was crossing at the same time and his heart told him 'she's the one'. Ouf of no where and it was just convincing. Just like that, at that time and that place. Unexpectedly. And, yes, that's how it went and they got married.

'Love at first sight', the conventional term to describe the above.
I am not a believer but now, begin to wonder. That it truly exists and proven true, at least in some cases.
We have the applicable story of the old and young above.

Well, love doesn't happen in that simple manner for me.
I met him, know about him and more about him.
Then, we feel for each other and went out through places.
Yet, through all these spaces and number of years, I know I couldn't proclaim "he's the one."
That's what I'm assured.

This is a song that seems to embrace that 'simple love' closely.  Made in the 80s , from the Jets, a band made of siblings from Minneapolis, with vocal by sweet Elizabeth Wolfgramm. She recorded this song being an teenager then. Marvellous!
The 80's are made of less junk and thrash singing.


Song:You've Got it All
Album: The Jets
Year:1986
Artist: The Jets







Sunday, February 12, 2012

What do we know?

Two months have about to accomplish in 2012. Days and nights are carried out swiftly and leaving me to give birth to multiple thoughts and feelings. After all, we are made up with these combination besides water being the high substance in us.

Although there are still endless to learn, I learned that I know more than before.  Knowing what , perhaps I rather not know.
I mentioned before that knowing is painful.
Yea, at times I wonder if know less, it could make my life a little easier , that I will march forward instead to entertain the 'knows'.

Like everyone else, I am looking forward to  rise in this recent new year. However, I fail to find the meaning to rise from my bed for the day and  I find myself to enter late to bed during the night, although fatigue reigns.

I believe each of us would have ask this all familiar question - Why are we here?

Life is surely not about waking up, meals, sending children to school, finding money to earn a living, dating, spending, watching and dying.

I am pining and longing for my past years.
When life is simple, innocent and pure
When there is no IPad, IPhone, internet,etc.
When the water and garden are still inviting
When quality is insisted rather quantity
When music and arts are dignified and posessing value
When birds are chirping in the air instead of honking and flames
When life is something I can call life.

I would trade my life right to get them back, if that is possible.

I know that we have to lose to gain and gain to lose.

I have just turned down a job opening based in a place where I wanted.
Ironic? Foolish?
I realise that happiness is far more important. The state of my heart is what I have to take care.
I realise that what I wanted in the past is slowly passing like the flying breeze.
The former could still be the better part.

And now, in months to come, where I will base, remains unknown.
I do not know if it would be a better place, although it is easy to love the lush, coast, leaves and breeze.
How would I settle in, what food I could cook and who will come to my aid?
Of all, a new environment to start all over again.
Or would things gonna be about the same.
This song has been ringing in my ears today for umpteenth times, never leaving me stale.
The beginning tempo carries the rhythm to start,
the middle hits the multiple cries and release of the heart,
the end is echoing a mystery, uncharted and bringing you to the waters you still have not sorted out.

(How I wish if could hear this by the lake behind my former lane of 20 + yrs)
Song:不要說話 / Bu Yao Shuo Hua/ Don't Speak
Artist:陳奕迅, Eason

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzb33Ku8k_w&feature=autoplay&list=PLF8681BC061F68FD6&lf=results_main&playnext=2