Days of Years

Looking around to find my treasure

But time sprints and I can only run tomorrow

To be nothing is happy

Who doesn't ever feel unhappy before?
Tell me if you know someone who didn't.

If I have a choice to taste happiness, I rather not choose it .
I rather know and feel nothing than paying the price of happiness.
Sweeter, kinder and a more beautiful life without knowledge, emotions , power, lust, humanity.
Only nothing. Nothing. You don't know.
I don't know.
We don't and we don't want to know.

Remembering

I thought of him yesterday.
I offered prayers to above to lessen his suffering and pain.
Yet, I am also cruel to him.
The last I met him was the celebration of  his 100 years of life.
He is the strongest I've met thus far and when I learned that his strength is declining, I knew it wasn't easy.

Today, he breathed his last and I wasn't by his side.
The sky was clear. The feelings were somewhat not the same.
I 'm not there in person but my mind is actively reminding me.
Thinking of his life journey, how far he had come.
My thin perseverance and worst, the lack of productivity.
Fate, casting blame to fate again, really?


Looks like I should not  play JB anymore. JB seems to be an impending exit.


It is a regret that I couldn't showcase any great milestones for him.
His last wish was not materialised and the sense of regret is palpable.

I'm truly sorry, AG.
The thoughts I had, the disrespect I displayed, the harsh words uttered.
The impossible reconciliation between your Chan (which I loathe till today), your kin and I.
I'm deeply sorry, AG.
May you rest in peace. 

Almost everything comes with both sides - the good and the bad.
If you  look deeper, anything that comes with the bad brings along the best. Likewise, the good has its hidden rough edges too. When you gripe, consider the other perspective too.

The places you went, the faces you met and the situations that throw you in a myriad of questions and emotions.

Another term has recently ended and it marks another new beginning.

Another person has left the place and someone else comes to fill in the vacuum.

Another season has passed and the spring ushers and sends a farewell to the winter.

If there is anything to remain and stay eternally, what do you wish it to be or who will it be?

Without a doubt, I know who will it be despite not knowing the 'whats' in life.

Some words said in a minute sounds as if the most precious word you ever heard in many years.
Some people you met for an hour sounds the best than those you have met for years.
Some concern which ticks you in a minute poses threat to you for months.

Somehow, most things present the both sides. The good and the bad. The positive and the negative. The beauty and the blemish.

It's strange that I could no longer relate to that kindness.
As times move on, we are moving on too.
To our respective life's puzzle.

In between and unexpected places and the same timing at different zone,
I can relate to the other soul , the other kind of kindness although it was a late encounter.
So, truly time may not necessary be the determiner.
At the right place. At the right time.
Nay.
I refuse or reluctant to believe so.
Not even the belief of the right person coz no one is ever right.

It is perhaps luck, fate or arrangement in the universe from above?
This is more of a corner of comfort than a love zone.
All it does is warmth and encouragement. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less.
As simple as that. A small gift that is huge enough.

Last

Last
What does it brings?

Last
Remain forever
or the final forever?

When is the last time I celebrate my glories?
Where are those glorious days which I hope to last?

When is the last time I see my smile?
Where did we create our smile and vow for each other?

At last, we don't last forever
Things will change
Yet remain the same

We are not made to last
Someday, somewhere
Heaven or hell awaits us

Today is the last of a pathetic calendar
Today is our last which enter into the past
May faith lasts forever

May faith and love lust for me
When it is my last

Faith...Hope...Love..or Words?

Words are elusive in the world of darkness
Or rather it is me?
Who are becoming my worst enemy and floating miserably?

Cries of the heart. Dry tears. Silence.
Only Pain and Me present in this purple room
The battle that no one could fight on my behalf.

Were I wrongly made?
Am I curse or am I a blessing?
Am I living in the right time?

What's the purpose behind my making?
Is he protected because of me?

Don't ask 'Why'?
Ask 'How'?

I am sorry, I am still a seeker
Hunting for reasons behind everything
And so I insist 'Why' after so many years.

I believe there is a cause for everything,
I care for the cause more than the effect.

You whisper Love but my doubts reign and chain
I yell distrust, anger and bitterness
Nothing can be hidden
I am still clueless as ever

What is Faith?
What is Hope?
Do they go together?

Is Love love?
Is Love powerful?
Is Love a hero?

How do we know Love?
Words?
Acts?
Both?

Perhaps, faith is more powerful.
Faith leads you. Incapable to fail.
If we trust each other,we need no words.