When we were here

Clouds hanging in the air so mighty and strong

But sometimes it's the raindrops I was waiting for long

Coz it reminds me when I first met you amid the throng

Sometimes it's easy for me to say and stay

Living without you when it doesn't make my day

Leaving without you and there's less to play

Time is telling and slowly our hearts to slay

The world still continue to spin till today

With untold mysteries still unravel

Things of fear and love a marvel

Our love is rough and tough

The ride made us cry and laugh

Whether in want or full of dough

Through the seasons in different borough

Maybe I was too wrong

Leaving and never look into your song

History is made and it ain't going

Still I hope to see you someday in the throng

In paradise shall we sing our song

**A tribute to N**

© CDL 2012

In the 90s', another favourite year in my life.

Moving pieces from James Newton Howard:

The Clock:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWHXQ9Fxkb8&feature=related

When it doesn't

The sun is shining on a different note today. The warmth is somehow nostaglic and strong.
Unlike the 5 hours journey in a wandering July.

It has been a week since his demise. Coincidental or what to call it - he passed on , on my life's anniversary.
A sudden heart attack pushing him to fight his life with the many tubes and breather.
Unthinkable.
Nevertheless, he no longer has to battle within those tumultous moments.
I wonder where he went to.
I could only know when it's my turn to be bury underneath. Or , perhaps I wouldn't know. That the sense of knowledge and awareness may not exist any longer with the entrance of an exit. After all, we are finite beings who store lots of inquiries and curiosities but answers and confirmation are beyond us.

We have no control over our birth and death in this world.
Who is our biological parents? Which family we are born into?
How and when we will leave?
Not even in committing suicide. If the time is not up, the attempt is doomed to fail.

The following days:


Nevertheless, tonight, some strangers brought a note of hope in life.
Susan and Sung Bong Choi are among the individuals who tell the world that we can fight against the odds.
Only if we still believe in hope.
Despite the smirks, despite the crowd, despite our feelings.
Thank you.


I like this song so well although I ain't feeling well.


I Know Him So Well
A brilliant combo- insightful lyrics and prodigious melody

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaLV2rLs_7E&feature=related

Dear Valentine

February is credited as the month of lovey-dovey with Valentine's Day.

I shunned love during my school days. Knew less and it did not be a source of concern.

It develops, however, as I entered the varsity where I've meet no less cool, nice, gentlemen.

There, in and between, trying to figure out the place of love in my heart.

As I turned the past to present, I still couldn't say whether I know what 'love' really means.

Should it comes easy, love as it is, without reasons and logics. Love being love and nothing else. No knotty, cords and entanglement.

Love is when a Vietnamese man sighted a North Korean woman through a laboratory's door, back in 1971. That the woman would become his wife. Period.  Through obstacles, long-waiting and love letters, they finally walked down the aisle in their aging years. It is amazing that his feelings towards her remain throughout those longing years. Although she is advancing with wrinkles and lesser youth sparkle. Although they were not able to share dating moments, a walk hand in hand under the starry night or embracing each other, being separated of political borders as North Korea adopted a non-contact policy.

Their wedding in 2002 was more than a joy with that happy ending. It sends me in wonder , if  love could be as easy as that - in identifying the person who captured your heart, so fully assured without hesitation, without the taint of vagueness and uncertainty. That undeniably saves time and heartache when you make the right choice, at the right place and the timing too.

I witnessed another simple love exhibited in the  popular China matchmaking  reality show - 'If you are the one' which recorded high ratings among the Chinese viewers worldwide. 24 gals made a choice to turn on/off their lights for the male who came to the show with the hope to whisk her off to be his mate. In one of the episodes, one of the gal was obviously charmed by the male who came. Her feelings and excitement for him were fearlessly exposed. Good for her that he did  finally choose her in the selection process among three other gals. What struck me was the gal's interpretation on love. She didn't know why but she knew he was the one when he walked out. She confessed she never date, being 22, and all that matters most was that she likes him tremendously. It's no explanation, fuss and all. That's love and romance. As simple as that. Although age and their origin and background seems to be a mismatch. He- endurance and perseverance earned him success (in the eyes of the world).  She - an easier life.

A director once told me that he found his love simply when he was crossing the traffic light. He saw a lady who was crossing at the same time and his heart told him 'she's the one'. Ouf of no where and it was just convincing. Just like that, at that time and that place. Unexpectedly. And, yes, that's how it went and they got married.

'Love at first sight', the conventional term to describe the above.

I am not a believer but now, begin to wonder. That it truly exists and proven true, at least in some cases.

We have the applicable story of the old and young above.

Well, love doesn't happen in that simple manner for me.

I met him, know about him and more about him.
Then, we feel for each other and went out through places.

Yet, through all these spaces and number of years, I know I couldn't proclaim "he's the one."

That's what I'm assured.

This is a song that seems to embrace that 'simple love' closely.  Made in the 80s , from the Jets, a band made of siblings from Minneapolis, with vocal by sweet Elizabeth Wolfgramm. She recorded this song being an teenager then. Marvellous!

The 80's are made of less junk and thrash singing.

Song:You've Got it All

Album: The Jets

Year:1986

Artist: The Jets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PnondsIxY8&gl=SG

What do we know?

Two months have about to accomplish in 2012. Days and nights are carried out swiftly and leaving me to give birth to multiple thoughts and feelings. After all, we are made up with these combination besides water being the high substance in us.

Although there are still endless to learn, I learned that I know more than before.  Knowing what , perhaps I rather not know.

I mentioned before that knowing is painful.

Yea, at times I wonder if know less, it could make my life a little easier , that I will march forward instead to entertain the 'knows'.

Like everyone else, I am looking forward to  rise in this recent new year. However, I fail to find the meaning to rise from my bed for the day and  I find myself to enter late to bed during the night, although fatigue reigns.

I believe each of us would have ask this all familiar question - Why are we here?

Life is surely not about waking up, meals, sending children to school, finding money to earn a living, dating, spending, watching and dying.

I am pining and longing for my past years.

When life is simple, innocent and pure

When there is no IPad, IPhone, internet,etc.

When the water and garden are still inviting

When quality is insisted rather quantity

When music and arts are dignified and posessing value

When birds are chirping in the air instead of honking and flames

When life is something I can call life.

I would trade my life right to get them back, if that is possible.

I know that we have to lose to gain and gain to lose.

I have just turned down a job opening based in a place where I wanted.

Ironic? Foolish?

I realise that happiness is far more important. The state of my heart is what I have to take care.

I realise that what I wanted in the past is slowly passing like the flying breeze.

The former could still be the better part.

And now, in months to come, where I will base, remains unknown.

I do not know if it would be a better place, although it is easy to love the lush, coast, leaves and breeze.

How would I settle in, what food I could cook and who will come to my aid?

Of all, a new environment to start all over again.

Or would things gonna be about the same.

This song has been ringing in my ears today for umpteenth times, never leaving me stale.

The beginning tempo carries the rhythm to start,

the middle hits the multiple cries and release of the heart,

the end is echoing a mystery, uncharted and bringing you to the waters you still have not sorted out.

(How I wish if could hear this by the lake behind my former lane of 20 + yrs)

Song:不要說話 / Bu Yao Shuo Hua/ Don't Speak

Artist:陳奕迅, Eason

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzb33Ku8k_w&feature=autoplay&list=PLF8681BC061F68FD6&lf=results_main&playnext=2

Someone Like You

I believe no one can match Adele's melancholic, soulful  voice for this song. I 've watched couple of covers for this song but none could potray and evoke the emotion to 'make' the song. It's not only the vocal per se as emotion is needed to enhance the value of this beautiful rendition.

Probably , only those who walked the road before are able to taste and feel the journey of the melody.
I suppose hurt exists in love to educate us on its significance. If there is no hurt, we couldn't learn how to love. Yet, we prefer to undo the hurt to receive/give love.

It is obviously no easy task to find 'someone like you.' If that someone has been so dear and loving, yet that is not meant to be.

It is obviously a task to lock the 'someone like you'  if that someone is ruining your life, pushing you to the worst edge.

And in something, we could never find 'someone like you' when that someone is just so distinctive, raw and one of that special kind. That there would be no else but him/her.

Album: 21

Artist: Adele

Title: Someone Like You

Year: 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0&ob=av3e

FATE and FAITH

I went to my potential graveyard one Saturday evening. It was a calm, soothing moment. The sands, sun and sea were around to accompany. What more could I ask? The lovely dusk was there to witness.

I walked by and read the tombstones. I wonder how their life have been before they went into the grounds.

Some have been there for many years, even before I join the earth and some have just reach the ground a few days ago. If I have a choice, I would ask for a cover from walking and returning to dust. Knowing is painful.

As I look deeper, I suppose we have no choice from the beginning. Whether we do later in the journey, I couldn't be sure. At this point of time, I conclude that life is made of fate. Perseverance and diligence count but fate is the mother still. Whether one will persevere, whether will have the determination to fight and survive till the end, these unravel one by one in this unknown - fate.

I went to the art house in the CBD one Friday. Picked the cinema critics. Watched and extracted the pieces to patch myself , to prevent the fading art in my soul and spirit. This saying of C.Lewis caught my attention,

"Faith...is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods."

The last four words are interesting. We do always act upon our impulse. Feelings. Views. People.

We affect and influence one another.

But there is one thing we should never allow others to kill or invent  - FAITH.

What is FAITH? What do I believe? What do I hold to? How true it is?

Do I believe because I am told it is so? 

Compliance and obedience is easy. When you do likewise without examining and questioning, it comes rather easy.

I am in the journey to seek more. I have no choice because I am already here although one day I will no longer be. One thing I must remember, I shall not have a faith dictated by people, circumstances and all other factors. And when I have embraced one upon MY decision, I should not allow others to kill it .Yea, also despite my changing moods. Because Faith is FAITH.

Artist: Five For Fighting
Album: Two Lights
Year: 2006
Title: The Riddle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q2wvhArAn8&feature=related

Laughing Gal

Knew someone who makes me laugh in a way which I have not enjoy for years.
I now know where to my find my happiness although transient.
The saying ' better than nothing' still sounds true.

Thanks for making me laugh. You have an arresting, unique and quirky personality that I found in no one else. Perhaps, your interesting, catchy, mischievious wits boost youth and kills the old cells.
Thanks for making me happy, laughing. Sadly , I don't possess the time and place of the world which otherwise, I think I choose to sit down and listen more often of your antics.

What really matters now, but to live in joy, health and be grateful?