It's no deal

If  all else is more or less the same, we have 3 months to go before we pull down the curtain of 2011.

It is a-three-significant months in such a tumultuous period of human history todate.

The question of living still matters most.

Why are we here and what is the purpose to be here in this world without our choice in the beginning and the end.

And my heart will tie close with these strangers I do not know but whose life stories has brought me nearer to them.

Theirs - a life of tragic, misery and uncertainty. I learned more about them this year and I want to know more of them and I hope I could something better to help them.

For someone who is disappointed in justice most of the time, my wounded heart is comforted to know that the Australian-Malaysia swap deal is failed. The High Court in Australia scuttled the controversial deal , a blow to the Gilliard's government. Asylum issues has become a subject to critize the unfavorable Labor Government in the Land Down Under.

Among the refugees, unaccompanied minors are the most vulnerable in the group. When these are crucial, formative years for them. Yet, they have no one to stand by. No one to depend on. In a foreign environment. With thousands who share the same place, food , space and air.
Driven by circumstances, they are forced to grow up fast and acquainted with suffering than their peers who live in normal and ideal conditions of life. Sending them to Malaysia, a non-signatory of the UN Human Rights Convention on Refugees is a big No No. The risk of torture, rape and ugly side of human abuse are not absent.

For that, the no-deal  is indeed a joy in the middle of navigating the threads of sorrow.

For Once

Busking. Busking. Busking.

Meeting over and hitch a ride.

Strumming and singing along with one another. Writing the lyrics and insert its meaning. 

Spontaneously.

The compelling passion of music helps to endure the late night recordings in the studio till  4a.m.

Two people of different gender, culture who share the same language and music passion then meet and enjoy each other presence and companion  across the borders and continents.  

At a point of time in our life's entry. 

Natural affinity.

No words to define.

A relationship which is rather extraordinary without the element of conventional attachment, hanky-panky, papers and expectations of the rest.

Nothing to lose and fear as before.

Falling slowly and naturally.

Perhaps, many of us arrive at such terminal before.

That there is once in our life where we meet someone special  to create the magical moments without that conventional commitment.

That's what made is special.

To happen for once.

For once, it happened for us.

The beauty that it happens for once.

Living within the zones

When I am occupying myself a seat on the air, I often wonder who is my neighbour.

Todate, they are nice to me and God knows if we ever meet again and help one another.

And being of one who doesn't stay long in a place, the air moment is all the more conducive to contemplate and collect pleasant old memories before an eraser lives in my head.

I am grateful that there have been beautiful souls whom I meet along my journey,  both down the road or up in the air. I believe there is a reason that we meet at that particular place, at that particular moment of all the crowds of human race and the slip of hours and minutes.

I am clothed with care and kindness , made feel like home and at the same time, enjoying being on my own and taste the power of being in the moment.

With an hour later and 2 hours in advance from my years of domicile, I realize that even an hour makes a huge difference. Somehow, I like the sense of living in different zones.

Somehow, as I walked one chilly Thursday night and the following week, I guess I want to throw a big hug to my love after stepping down. After I abandon a peripatetic life.

Coming across this song that feels like home even in the air.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dShVXE67yQ&gl=HK&feature=related

Album:What if it all means something
Song: Flying Home
Year:2002
Artist:Chantal Kreviazuk


Its hard to let you go
You've always let me in
And helped with all the endings
And you know where to begin
I need you here for me
Cause you always know my heart
I can't believe we'd change
Or have to be apart
But if you've seen the love that's in her eyes
Then everything is good
And if you know the way she felt inside
She's flying where she should
I never believed we'd ever live to see
An angel being born and flying home
Its good to know your laugh
And you'll always hold my hand
And watch from up in heaven
And always understand
We'll take you down the road
And in everything we do
We'll know how much you love us
A soul that's kind and true.
But if you've seen the love that's in her eyes
Then everything is good
And if you know the way she felt inside
She's flying where she should
I never believed we'd ever live to see
An angel being born and flying home

A Second Chance

Tim has an enduring hunger to work with music.  Inseparable. All the more, after returning from numerous gigs. That's what intrigued me. His serious passion gets him to where he is today and I am glad for him. And, yea, roadside dinner is a good one too.

In contrast, I am running dry on inspirations to write. A true artist fears a blank canvass. A true writer, the void of of words. And so, in a bit of the travel here and there , I am trying hard during the accompanying silence of the moment to ignite the creative juices and to some extent, it works , especially during chilly and rainy nights. And there, I recalled my first published article entitled 'A Second Chance'.

How many of us would have a second chance to re-do and undo what we wish for?

If there is one, what would it be?



The younger days comes to me. The once familiar faces, places and cases and misses, and feelings too.

Slowly (but surely), along the moments , we reach our destination and take our luggages.

And then I realize , everyday is our second chance.

Sad Fragrance

Dia telah berjalan seketika lama. Tangannya melewati batu konkrit yang berdiri utuh sejak 1977.
Melapis kisah lama yang tercipta di kampus ini semasa kejatuhan pemerintahan si diktator kejam dan kemangkatan Presiden.
Bilahan hujan memadam bayangan namun keadaan itu sungguh menyenangkan.
Hati tertutup setelah terbuka. Sang bulan tidak melindungi diri malah menyuluh jalan di hadapan.
20 tahun terungkai dengan komunikasi lama yang menghubungkan perpisahan zaman yang tidak mungkin diterokai.

Dan dia terus berjalan. Alunan Bach menemani keharuman yang semakin hilang ditelan masa.
Anda mengenali destinasi sebelum titik ketibaan dan bukan selepas saat tersebut.
Takdir jua bertakhta dan bukan semua harapan dan kehendak menjadi titik destinasi.
Ditto.
2005-2011

Undone our both sides

One more day to go, it's gonna be a year without our both sides.

And probably such years will extend throughout our lifetime.

I have decided. I should have, long time ago.

I chose to believe in 'fate', not my faith, not you.

I am ready to let go the thread of our kite.

Barring gadgets. Closing our Pinots. Pulling the brakes.

It's the hardest night of the last time.

But that has to be to bring the better days.

I cherish the lights and chill in Abel Cottage and East Park's pre-eve in our written chapters, only to  reduce its fragments slowly. Although I am tempted to re-write the chapters and fill the pages with colours, my heart does not give way eventually.

So, this is waking, sleeping and walking on my path , another day, another year.

In sickness, in difficulties, in rare happiness and blessings in disguise.

My centre of affection is looking at the galleries which I shall pass and words to craft.

Sharing the time to paint with the children. It doesn't matter with the messy colours everywhere.

Along the way, in low residency, to transfrom into an art piece. Not to please the world. Not to please anyone, anymore. Not to live in others expectation. Praying to taste the release of a dove.

Title: Both Sides Now

Artist: Joni Mitchell

Year: 1969

Renewed: 2000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e_-u7J2-ag&feature=related

How many hours?

Time never stands still but it would one day, perhaps.
Everyone knows that this old planet would reach its finality someday and the big question is 'WHEN'?

As I re-look at my life, I wonder how have I write it in between within the pages of time.
What is indeed life? It is a journey shaped by our choices and circumstances and fate being  a big factor?

I have less than an hour to go to catch the trip down but I can't stop writing.
The thought of leaving yesterday's evening walk back my new home at the green park cemented with the bridges is painfully unpleasant.

How many hours do I have before I can make an ultimate stop and say , this is it, we are not moving anywhere further.

How many hours do I have before I can complete a brilliant manuscript to change the world to be a better place?

How many hours do I have to meet someone whom I have forgotten , those whom I want to extend my thanks?

With the ticking of the clock, I have to pack and leave in less than half an hour.